Stop. Breathe in. Exhale.
How are you feeling?
Look around you. What do you see?
What if I told you that your life is all yours and that every moment you become fully aware of is the greatest gift you have.
I didn't have to travel a single meter beyond the limits of my own body to come to this realization, but I have to admit that sometimes it's easier when we step out of our own framework of what we know to get to know some new part of the world - some new part of ourselves.
It will soon be a year and a half since we drove off in a car full of suitcases on what would become the longest journey ever. Without any goal, without a firm plan, without ambitions and a final return deadline, we left and are still moving. Sometimes we pause, sometimes we stand still without hurrying. A few years ago, our conscience wouldn't allowed us living without setting goals, for not planning, for standing still (for too long). Because that's how we were taught, brought up, because it was given to us by our genes, our blood cells: without ambition, without striving for better, without pain and efforts is as if nothing is valuable.
Do you feel the same when you do nothing all weekend, do you feel like you owe someone an apology if you're just resting, if you don't change your place for days, if you have no plans, not even a to-do list?
And let me ask you: if you spent hours and hours lying on the sofa in front of the TV or staring at the sky for hours, do you think that you wasted your time? But to whom do we actually owe explanations, apologies, remorse and the realization that pleasure is always accompanied by the epithet guilt (guilty pleasure)?
In fact, the only thing we owe to ourselves and the world is to stop apologizing and get rid of those outdated values that serve no one. It's okay to live life in complete pleasure without any guilt, it's okay to have some of a year (even a year or a lifetime) without plans and (big) goals, it's okay to be free within your own beliefs and values, it's okay to know that the greatest ambition is in loving it and appreciating it in the simplicity that is life.
And as such it is worth enjoying and celebrating. I am not referring to those big life celebrations such as births, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries...
"Every day is worth celebrating."
I learned this recently at the cocoa facilitator training in Guatemala. At first, I sighed at the thought of celebrating life every day - I think it was too much for my ego to digest that every day can be as ceremonial as we want it to be. Then, during the 14 (most) intensive days, I slowly began to let go of my own limitations and beliefs that clearly did not serve me. Every day I went through my own heaven and hell at the same time - this was a time for painful processes that in the end served me more than all the practical knowledge gained during the same time (not that I complain about the knowledge gained, it was more than interesting and instructive ). On the one hand, I realized that what hurts the most is often the hardest to let go of, but when we are finally ready to face it and let it go - then what we learn or get on the other side serves us a thousand times more and better. On the other hand, I realized that not everything has to be suffering to serve us.
Through the ceremonies in all the moments we shared, received and gave, I learned to celebrate life on the simplest level: the everyday, present, ours and in every sense of the word: sacred.
I learned not to judge myself (thank you, ego, for still quieting down from time to time), I learned to allow myself small celebrations and great joys: sleep long (or short if I prefer), light a candle, drink ceremonial cocoa every day, meditate in silence (or noise and chaos), to open heart to gratitude for everyday privileges (food, water, bed,...), to be in the movement of life in suitcases or to stand still staring at the water of Lake Atitlan, to love my children and husband because of all things love is the one that deserves the most celebration and being present in everything in between. And yes, we don't need reminders in calendars if we write them down forever (little by little) in the hearts and consciousness of our own existence.
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